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NotKidding April 2020

 

By Andreas Weber, Head of Kidding

#Hotoffthepress from the home office for April 1, 2020#Breakingnews

+++ The pioneers of publishing have gotten a whole new lease of life from the corona crisis. “While others are dithering, we’ve sprung into action. We’ve massively extended and expanded our online activities. Instead of sending out our e-newsletters weekly, we’re now publishing them daily! That’ll get us new readers.” That’s the upbeat message from publishers. There’s also been a coup in cost cutting in certain quarters, thanks primarily to the progressive practice of “postponing”: “We’re pushing back the publication of our print titles for an unspecified period, which has enabled us to drive down our costs by 80 percent. People need to take a leaf out of our book.” What’s more, work is now finally starting to become enjoyable again. Journalists no longer have to toil away, perched on the edge of their hotel beds, churning out stories in between gala dinners and PowerPoint orgies. A journalist who asked not to be named told us: “Now we can sit back, calm and collected in our home office, and just copy & paste the major announcements from industry into our newsletters. Unlike some others, we’re not filling up texts with empty phrases. We’re providing hard facts third hand!” My take on that is simple – #Bravo”. We can all learn something about turning a necessity into a virtue.

+++ Switching your business model over to #postponing is currently a no-brainer in the events and trade fair sector, too. The boss of a leading German trade fair company is boundlessly confident: “Our announcements about all trade fairs being postponed until further notice have met with extraordinary encouragement and positive feedback. Everyone is amazed at our courage! That’s given us a real boost!” According to unconfirmed reports from highly confidential sources, all trade fairs are going to be postponed by a year starting from 2021. This will reportedly save customers and visitors a huge amount of outlay. Shipping and travel, in particular by air, will be avoided, which will benefit the environment. What’s more, it is the right response to the collapse of the hotel and guest house sector.

+++ Postponing is also lifting the limits on creativity in the high-tech sector. Following the suspension of a hostile takeover of an arch-competitor, the major US shareholder and investment activist C. Beertap has found a happy ending: Board of Management and Supervisory Board members from both companies are to get to know each other from their home offices. The best solution is said to be online gaming. #Gaming is bringing a whole new dimension to #Postponing.

[Note from the editor: We accept no liability for the veracity of our content. The main thing is to finally share some good news.]

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